I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
