i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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