Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
