He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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