I think I just saw someone hide a body.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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