I cannot find my penis.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i think i just lost a toe
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
