Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
