Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
