Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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