too bad you live with your parents still
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize