And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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