I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
