The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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