One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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