She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I enjoy the company of your penis
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
