PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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