somebody snuck up and got me drunk
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
