i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish i was in the wii world.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize