Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
My penis needs a shock collar
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
