Soap is not a condiment
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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