Life is so much better after having sex.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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