Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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