Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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