hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
