I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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