I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
