The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
God I need to hump something, right now.
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