i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
