can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
