I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
foreskin is a definite game changer
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
