I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
