"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
