She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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