Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My life is pants optional.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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