1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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