I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
