I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
