I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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