so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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