I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
