We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
