I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize