WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
