Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
