even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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