you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Just high enough for therapy.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
