there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
