I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
