Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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