I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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