so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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