bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
