i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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