we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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