theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
