let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
