Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
