kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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